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14 October 2006

loneliness

soledad. today has been so lonely, but in a really interesting way. i am in this new city, so full of things to do, and of course i'm alone because i don't know anYoNE. ok i know 5 people, and 2 of them talk to me. so pretty much...you get the point. i'm alone.

i was suffering beyond words today. my body was aching and my everything felt twisted and in pain. the whole lump in the throat thing, yep, wanted to cry. i'm only telling this information because i want you all to know, that even for the adventurous heart, even for the life of a wanderer, it's scary. your feelings get hurt and you are scared and you wish a friend would call and ask you how you're doing. and no one does, and no one did today, and you have to push through.

i have a hard time with this. and i am alone, and that's okay (don't send me letters because you read this and you feel bad for me, send me letters that you write from your heart, spirit inspired and as a way to communicate with me), but i wish some people would reach out to me. i didn't move away so that would occur, but i wish that they knew. i need a hand too.

so i have learned one thing in my loneliness, and that is, it is okay to be lonely. una linea de una cancion esta repitiendo en mi mente..."soledad, soledad, por que tantas soledad?" because it's okay. i'm in the process...and that is not to be confused with there being one product...there could be one million...i am just here to take part in all of this beauty.

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