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31 May 2007

limbs

when i say prayers for things that seem most unconventional, i find myself walking away from my safe ground and moving out onto the limbs of life. i prayed for something really silly last night, in fact, i admit it was absurd . i prayed to "run into" someone, if only because i am yearning for companionship that is like-minded yet challenging, but let's be honest, i had ulterior motives as well. i have a little "like." what i mean to say though, is that i prayed a quick prayer about it. i owned my own silliness, my small self's desire for spontaneity and my large self's deeper need to be loved and understood. i say all of this not as a confession (i am completely satisfied with the run-in, oh yes. that is the punch line. i did end up running into my like, and after a wonderful conversation, in which he said: "I have been into the heart of God," i strolled away slightly floating above the soft earth. this was me: impressed.), but instead as a bit of a challenge.

leave your harbor of firm ground and safe shelter.
walk out onto the sea,
tippy-toe your heavy, fear-full body onto small limbs,
and see if you fall far.
chances are you will not crash,
or drown,
or discover what you intended to.
however,
let the smallest voice inside of you scream,
shout with all your might your
dreams,
desires,
doubts,
delights.
and then be well in the midst of all the winds,
and let them blow you,
shake you to your bones,
because you will see
the limb is where you discover,
or uncover,
life in its fullest,
newest,
brightest.
rawest,
most tender forms.
and you'll find,
maybe, if you allow yourself,
that you knew it existed all along.
and your fear of letting it come in,
and operate freely,
that is all your really lost.

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