Pages

07 May 2007

starting fresh

so i wrote my dear friend an email tonight, and i decided this would serve as my fresh start to the blogging. i am jumpstarting this here practice, one again. i think it is an incredible outlet, writing, and i want to be in the habit of being more PUBLIC about my words. i am always so personal, so privado, so selfish (you should see my boxes of journals). now here in some just for you, whoever you are.
(p.s. i hope you don't mind that i'm publishing this erin. i guess you're not allowed to mind, since i wrote it. lo siento. te amo.)

erincita! holasssss amiga! how are you???? i don't think we've even written since we last spoke, and i don't exactly know what that says about the pace of life but i am dying to reconnect with you. i hope that this email finds you well-----i think jamie is in lima or will be soon-----and i cannot wait to hear what you've been up to this past (almost) two weeks! your time there is coming to a close nearly, how absurd is that? i cannot even fathom your growth, how many new threads have been woven into the tapestry of your life, and what that means for you as you return, so changed, and yet so much a part of things as they were before you left. now that you're officially done with your formal education, what have you been thinking about for activity upon your return? i wonder how all of these developments are coming along in your mind and in your real life, too!

"travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living." miriam beard

i went and heard elizabeth gilbert speak about her book "eat. pray. love" yesterday at Carmichael's bookstore (remember the bookstore we frolicked in together?) and i was moved in deep and amazing ways. you know my moments like this, where inspiration is so bursting within me that i cannot, for the life of me, contain the beauty that has been conceived. i become a womb that nurtures the questions and ideas that start bubbling up, and i start to intentionally digest eVeRyThinG and let it direct me. well her words just struck these melodious chords within me------she was full of words about quest-ing and questioning, she asked us: "What do you want to do with your one and wonderous life?" that is what i call a QUEST-ion! i mean, goodness, what is life if we are not always responding to that CALL? so even though i am in an incredibly content place here, i am always living out the answer to that question, falling in love more with life and so often just falling-----but there could be nothing more sweet and meaningful in this stage of my life, i suppose. because so much of life is spent doing completely and utterly meaningless work----one that produces mere material or something of the life that can be removed or destroyed with the smallest (or greatest) shift of the season or the weather or the waistline--- so why not be a human being who chooses to LIVE such a life from within, where we are sturdy, strong and spirited, from a core that is inSpiRed?

life in the Lou is good. derby was outstanding. the upcoming week should be sweet. i am aiming to fulfill some new goals for myself, after having created a "personal self-care plan" tonight, i'm feeling ultra motivated (clearly) to stride towards a clearer sense of stephanie. i love that at any point we are given the complete freedom to chose life in the aBundaNcE that it is offered to us. sometimes i cannot chose that for myself, but i want to practice choosing it. that's what this self-care initiative is about! nothing too new to write about, just goodness really, but i did want to write you, if only to tell you that i think of you often, i love you a lot, and i would love to hear from you----

i hope that things in lima are LOVELY!
that you are in the midst of admiration and appreciation,
wherever you are.
and if you're traveling around south america without me,
well,
i am envious.
(but you already knew that)
but i do wish you sweet sweet travels,
and even a more satisfying sweetness in your core.
one that changes your life.

love you ea
estef

No comments: