15 August 2007


i dont have words for you tonight. you know what? i talk way too much.
tomorrow i will practice this: silence.
but tonight i will find words.
they will be answers.
to questions.
you can't read them.
you can just read the questions.

and knowing this, maybe even you will speak to me.

Experiments and exercises in becoming a gracefully probing, erotically
funny, shockingly friendly Master of Orgasmic Empathy

1. Ruminate about the sublime prototypes that might be hidden within
the longings you're not so proud of. Dream of the noble purposes that lie
beneath the plaintive cries of your heart. Write about them here.

2. Assume that your capacity for experiencing pleasure is not a barrier to
your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. What would you do
differently from what you do now?

3. Force yourself to think a kind thought about someone you don't like.
Next, try an even harder task: Force yourself to think a kind thought
about someone who doesn't like you.

4. Robin Norwood's self-help book *Women Who Love Too Much* deals
with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too
generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of
your own needs, you can make yourself sick.

An alternative perspective comes from French philosopher Blaise Pascal,
who said, "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough."
He was primarily addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a
good ideal for pronoia lovers to keep in mind.

Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or
Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take

5. Everyone deserves a place to live, good food and water, comfortable
clothes, fulfilling work, decent health care, and an intimate relationship
with a provocative muse. The muse need not be an actual person, but
might be an animal ally, a familiar spirit, a guardian angel, or an
autonomous part of one's own brain.

Do you have one? If not, use all your ingenuity to get one. If you're
already blessed with a muse, upgrade your relationship. Demand more
high-quality prods and inspiration, and in return offer more daring acts of
love and generosity. If your muse is unwilling to undertake a deeper
collaboration with you, hand him or her a pink slip and enlist a more
enthusiastic candidate.

6. Compose and cast a love spell on yourself.

7. Pick out three strangers you aren't attracted to and who seem lonely
and dull. Discreetly discover their names and addresses, maybe by
following them home, then coming back later to steal the junk mail from
their mailbox. Write them each a two-page love letter and sign it "Your
Secret Admirer."

8. "Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valéry. While
there's an element of truth to that, it's too corny and decadent for my
tastes. I prefer to focus on a more interesting truth, which is this: Real
love is being smart together. If you weave your destiny together with
another's, he or she should catalyze your sleeping potentials, sharpen
your perceptions, and boost both your emotional and analytical
intelligence. Your relationship becomes a crucible in which you deepen
your understanding of the way the world works.

Give an example of your closest approach to this model in your own life.
Then formulate a vow in which you promise you'll do what's necessary to
more fully embody the principle "love is being smart together."

9. Some men believe they'll never find romantic happiness unless they
hook up with a woman who resembles a supermodel or celebrity. Their
libidos were imprinted at a tender age by our culture's narrow definition
of what constitutes female beauty. They steer clear of many fine women
who don't fit their ideal.

The addiction to a physical type is not confined to hetero men, though.
Some straight women, for instance, wouldn't think of dating a bald, short
guy, no matter how interesting he is.

In addition to these extremes, there are many people of every sexual
persuasion who imagine that their attraction to the physical appearance
of a potential partner is the single most important gauge of compatibility.
This delusion is the most common cause of people leaping into
relationships that go bad.

The good news is that anyone can outgrow their instinctual yearning for a
particular physical type, thereby becoming available for union with all of
the more perfect partners who previously didn't look quite right.

What's the state of your relationship with this riddle? Describe how you
might ripen it; speculate on how you can move it to the next level of
pronoiac maturity.
(i will for the sake of the intelligent author, claim all questions/devotions to the work of Rob Breszny)

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