19 October 2007

i am changed

"come on in, i've got to tell you what a state i'm in." (coldplaY)

i've been obsessed with coldplay this week. and really good quotes. and the idea of letting people know how much i appreciate them. but i haven't acted on all of those genuine feats of thanksgiving. and i apologize for that. could you please spare me a brief moment of your forgiveness? i will now list those who i would like to thank:

thank you julie harper, massage therapist extraordinaire, who kneaded my skin and my most tender spots and revived life into my parts----so exhausted my self---and you touched and awakened my sensory preceptors, giving them reminders of life and lust and the gentle evidence of being connected to humanity. i am thankful for your wisdom imparted unto me, and i hope you know my sincere gratitude here, though i can only touch you through words, your touch truly moved me and restored hope unto me. thank you immensely.

thank you to my grandmother, who provides me with a safe and comfortable home. i am living with a piece of history. a body of counter-culture lifestyle, under a roof where your pleasure is met and granted just because you exist. thank you for hot showers and bottles of red wine, and a t.v. that allows me the luxury of jeopardy @ 730pm. thank you for listening to my silly stories, letting me be silent when i need to be, offering me hot coffee in the morning, going on an ear-x-tacy date with me. when no one else beckons, you are there.

thank you to men. thank you for being much more than i understand. for challenging me when i challenge you. for not giving up on me and my calloused heart. thank you to men who run in different directions than the norm. thank you to james franco for being beautiful. thank you to ross for showing up daily. thank you to sergio for noticing my haircut. thank you to brooks for ginger candy. thank you to todd for high fives with butt slaps at the end. thank you men, guys, dudes, for working on yourselves, digging deeper, deeper still, until you've come to the core of it all: that fleshy, bloody, beating heart. then, having found it, ripping it out, and noticing, in comparison to mine, which i am holding in my hand, that we are identical within. that you are not supposed to be one way and i another. we are all just humans inside, and i praise you for how you live that out. so whether your penis is circumcised or not (this was last night's dinner topic), thank you for having one and still having a heart. that is important.

thank you to john johnson at the wine rack for wine tastings. you educate me, and the community as a whole, on how to eNjOY libations, and not only enjoy them but see them as miracles. from the vine comes the wine, and just like humanity, it is a cultivated and intentional process. thank you for reminding me to honor and respect that. and of course, thank you for the wine. you're welcome for the sliced baguettes.

thank you to this city, and this street, and this address for constantly giving me a place to go. even if it's only to my bed at night to be thankful.

i am changed.

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