29 February 2008

leAp yeAr.

a tribute to jumping, flying, friends, love, life.

so i didn't expect this, but it's a leap year.
it's February 29th, and that only happen every four years.
i hope i birth a child on this day, someday.
that way, we won't reserve celebrating its life on one particular day every year,
we would celebrate everyday.
crowns to be worn while playing with crayons.
new shoes when feet grow, new socks because they make that child feel super.
paints & play dough & piƱatas just because.

we would play as a practice.

i remember when some of my dearest friends and i took to playing on campus our first year in college. we'd run up and down our hall (3rd floor SOUTH!), doing silly things and catching ourselves on camera. it was fascinating. sometimes, we took to the public places on campus (rather than the halls of the "virgin vault," so was the nickname of our all girls dorm). one night, we went leaping.

look at those girls, those faces, anticipating the jump.
so courageous, and it's not a far distance to go,
it's all in the going.
the leap.
the "i don't know where i'll land but off i go anyhow."

we didn't care who saw us. we were going anyhow.

and all of this makes me think of renita j. weems blog entry from last august, which sent chills running up and down my spine, causing my old bones to shake, eager for change. and a little thrill...
read on:

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
A Leap of Faith
by renita j weems

Sometimes you have to go ahead and jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down,” is an apt way to describe what it means to live by faith. I didn’t know a thing about what I’d opened my big mouth and said I’d do, but I trusted God. And I had experience. The experience of once committing myself to something, watching the universe open up and gradually send me the things I needed to do the job.

Listen: You’ve been preparing for years for the step you’re contemplating. You’ve been dreaming about it all your life. It’s not more credentials, but more faith that you need. Faith in God. Faith in yourself.

Faith is trusting that even if you fail in what you planned, you will succeed in other ways you never imagined. Faith is believing that in the end, the universe will catch you.

You know this already, but I’ll tell you again: Sometimes you have to leap without knowing how things are going to turn out. Sometimes you have to go ahead and take a chance. Sometimes you have to step out even when you can’t see what’s in front of you.

“For everything there is a season,” is what you’ll find in the Bible. A season to pray, and a season to leap– and pray, is what life teaches you...

...What do I know so far? Blogging is like writing a book which is like traveling to a distant land, which is like falling in love which is like having a baby, which is like standing to speak without any notes which is like leaving a secure job for a yet to be revealed vocation (all of which I’ve done). Leaping and praying.

Playing the slot machines in Vegas doesn’t interest me. Placing a wager on a horse is not something I’d do. But as Venus Williams said back in 2005 when she beat the odds and won Wimbledon, “I always bet on myself.”

So, go for it. Take the plunge. You won’t find God on the cliff, but out there in the wind beneath your wings.

Faith is flapping your imaginary wings.

“What happens if I crash?” What happens if you fly?

Jump, doggone it. Start flapping. Look up, not down. That’s it. Fly.

it IS a leap year. i feel like i've been participating in it without even knowing, this year. it's amazing, life, leaping, love--- who am i to experience all this and in such genuine capacity? i have golden threads woven into my wings, friends without borders that know no distance, a love who takes me to the swings, family & health & the wisdom that everything else will fall into place. this leap that beckons does so eVERy daY. caLLs your name & calls the bravest you into being. calls you out of your comfortable bed each morning, calls you into clothes and out onto the street.

and you go. you always go. you go when you feel like a bear. you go when you feel like anything but going. and what a brave soul you are.
falling like that.
all the way down.

outward.ONWARD.forward.TOWARDS.upward.the road less traveled. the cliff less jumped.

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