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29 June 2008

a call to arms & the card of the day

a challenge, a call to arms,wisdom whispering your name.

i was 10 miles outside of louisville and i was drenched with anxiety. bless my sweet soul, i am so unable to love my self. i try and i fail, over & over & over.

i dropped pw off at work today and he bid me a challenge: make one card. and then, he kissed every single one of my fingers on my right hand, and leaned towards me and planted a long, sweet beso on my forehead. "here is where you need it the most."

girl loves boy.

the card of the day will be a new (& consistent) practice/meditation.

maybe it will provide some sense of growth.love.self-respect.understanding.vision.clarity.

day#1 (a wedding card for doug & kaitlin rose)

26 June 2008

precious!

oh.my.gosh.
back in KY and we don't have any luggage.
BUT we have love in tow...
love&support&a companion you never dreamed possible...
right next to me the whole way "home"

and by "home" i mean: this impermanent place we spend our lives...
waking up to the mystery & blessing that each day holds,
falling asleep each night, thankful for the challenges & the magic
and asking for what we (think) we need tomorrow.

but it is still life.
-i saw sunsets every night this week with pw. people: stop. go see the sunset. live.
-caroline tabb is now officially a riley and we had such a wonderful time celebrating with her and chris!! lucky, lucky, we are all so lucky!
-i got an email from kate marks (oh.my.how.i.LOVE.kate.marks) telling me about her new&renewed life in paris via her blog.
-i got to see ashley hepburn this weekend----->über blessing----->über bonus: she was paul's date to my sister's wedding :)





-my mother & daddy dave are two of the greatest people i have ever met. they are crazy & so kind. i adore them.
-time spent by the shore and by the pool is restorative & exciting. my favorite time of day is 4pm. enough said.



-little brothers-turned-young-men---pREciouS pEopLE they are becoming.














- piggy back rides & a sun-kissed face. we need these things to survive.





back to life we go.
now, the question is: how do we continue the enthusiasm and the joy?
we just do. we take moments out of our everyday (busy) lives and LOVE THEM.
choose those moments, meditate on them in the office, in the car, while listening to your morning mix on the subway.

this is your one precious life. how will you spend it?

18 June 2008

and?

I AM:
feeling revived
glad for these joyful days
exhilarated (after a run)
totally in love
excited about seeing family & friends
doing my very very best

I STILL HAVE TO:
chose a meaningful something (aka reading) to share at the wedding
write a speech
plan a bachelorette party
shower
make dinner
wrap gifts
start/finish packing

and?
i'm sitting here, searching for inspiration.
i love wasting the time.

16 June 2008

handsome sandals, weird feet





Are those hands or feet?
Are these toes doing anyone any good?

ugh.

sustain



despite frustrations, don't give up.


"it's been a long time coming, but i know a change is gonna come" ben sollee

14 June 2008

withered, inspired, favored.

has the heat withered you?

you were once the most beautiful piece of organic potential.
you were once vibrant & bright & hydrated.
and now, you are: dry. destitute. withered.

what will refresh your dry spirit?
what will quench your thirsty soul?
what shall we do?

get inspiration from all around.
a song. a book. poetry. a muffin.
an exhilarating bike ride.
a customer service rep named stephanie.
a sweet, long kiss from a bearded man.

you will now longer wilt and shrivel up under the heat of this world,
you will grow, flourish, rise up.
you are favored by all of creation.
you.

and now about me. (or should i say about us?)

here is my list of favorites from the week:
favorite find: the miniature carrot featured here, found in our CSA share this week.
favorite gift: a new set of wonderful watercolors from my grandmother
favorite project: father's day 2008 cards (of which i made four)
favorite conversation: toss-up between ea,hepburn, & grandma carlton
favorite meal: a finely prepared blend of kale & mushrooms
favorite cd: m. ward's "post war"
favorite quote: "you're gonna need my help sweetheart, you can't make LOVE all by yourself" (bob dylan)

that bob dylan sums it up for me every time.
thank you world for reminding me of our interconnectedness to one another.
thank you lovely people in my life for your constant support.
thank you for provision, blessings, hydration, inspiration, favor.
thank you.

05 June 2008

unarmed truth & unconditional love



i need words that matter today. i need some kind of resolve. i have been thrown in the washer and hung out to dry. won't somebody, somebody come take me off the line???
i've got some thinking/writing/painting/story telling to do. i'm a little off kilter these days, trying anything to get something, wishing all along for something great, believing (but only half-heartedly) that i even deserve anything more great than i've got. i've got great in a lot of ways, but i need something----don't we always need something?

what about: unarmed truth and unconditional love?

will that do?

do i really know love where i am today? have i grabbed my calendar today and said: it's the only june 5, 2008 eVER, how will I makE this daY amaZinG??

well i started with a little checking of the to-do list, and i've continued by exploring new career options, considering the ones i'm most interested in, and making some strides in a hope*ful and new direction. how can i achieve what i want to achieve? unarmed truth & unconditional love.

maybe for some time i've been armed.
i've certainly been conditional.
maybe it is time for neither.
maybe it is time.