15 December 2009

DARE to say it out loud.

i had a revelation while i was at the gym tonight. {i know, sounds totally weird.}

short term solutions become long term problems in my life.

if i'm not mistaken, there are three real, concrete examples of this theme in my life that have occurred in the past three years, specific instances where i have had a choice and not taken it. i haven't had time to process this theme fully, but i do know that mid-workout, (mid side-lunges-with-15lb-weights-in-both-hands. mid seriously-this-hurts!) it became very clear that losing weight and shedding those twenty powerless pounds felt like the first long term solution i've created and stuck to recently.

and i know i'm not the only one who has problems. who feels stuck. who is craving a big old change. who loves where she is and is trying to make the best of it but also knows deep down that it isn't my full monty. i am holding my ground here and making both a claim of gratitude and an honor of the soul within that knows there is more for me. i exist in a breath of deep blessedness, an exhale of hope.

this is my plea: if you think there is room for change, there probably is and it is OKAY to say it out loud.

have i told you about the mondo beyondo cards? one of the first assignments was to print off this sheet of cards, cut them up, and create one of your own, for yourself. for your growth. this was mine:

"don't hold back your gold."
that's a quote from dale herink, my sage.

anyhow, so you see the cards. and you see, part of our mission was to share the love. so i left them in bus seats, inside gym lockers, on mirrors, in wallets (ok, just paul's wallet), etc. as i was shoving my stuff into a locker today, i saw i had two cards left: "don't hold back your gold" (*not giving it away*) and {ironically, because its pictured} "DARE to say it out loud."

i shuddered back in fear. my thought flow went something like this: no way i'm leaving that in a gym locker. what is IT? i don't want somebody saying whatever dream/wish/answer/problem/fear/truth they might have out loud to me. it might be scary. it might be too big. i might not know what to say.

which is extra amusing if you know me. i'm big. i'm so bold. i'm truthful. i'm the friend that tells you how it is. i'm so supportive and so mighty and so loving, but i don't beat around bushes. i love dreams. i love holding you. keeping the faith for your when you've lost it all. but daring someone to say it out loud? what the hell would they say?

so here i am, saying my stuff out loud. i am asking for more. for change. for a sprinkle of fairy dust. and i'm asking for you to DARE to say your truth/dreams/shortcomings aloud, too. i am giving you full permission, i am offering you a bundle of support, and i am open to hearing what you have to offer.

after all, we are all in this together. and more on the short term/long term/twenty pounds/etc {later}.

1 comment:

Amanda Fall - PersistentGreen said...

Such a powerful post. "Don't hold back your gold" will stick with me today--and likely much longer.

I'd heard of the mondo beyondo cards before, but hadn't really looked into them. Now I'm encouraged to write my own. Thanks. :)

I wrote a blog post a few days ago about shouting our thank-yous to the heavens. I, too, am working on saying it LOUD!

Here's to a new year of possibility.