sometimes i feel that way. that's when i know i need to unplug. when i need to detach myself from the noise of the world and get quiet, really quiet, so that i can get clear on my own contributions. typically i'd meander to my local yoga studio or sit down with a piping hot mug of tea & my art journal, but these days i've been fully emerged in projects around the apartment and planning for the spring/summer events. so rest means nothing. rejuvenation-what is that again? exhaustively catching up on other people's blog & envying their springtime motivation, we're getting warmer...
what does all this mean? it means i caught myself red-handed. out of boredom & exhaustion, i'm facebook stalking people i don't even really know but they got married & i'll look at their albums. it means i'm reading food blogs that put me in lame-shame, an "i should go run a half marathon and then have a green monster" frame of mine. it means your accomplishments suddenly seem better than mine, even though i've worked hard to build a fantastic life that i love and that works for me. it means i am looking outside rather than inside, focusing on what i don't have rather than what i have, and most importantly, i am seeing a need to reconcile these inconsistencies & recover some of my golden ways.
do you ever get to this stopping point? this, "i'm in too deep and i have to come up for fresh air" feeling? where you need to throw everything to the wayside and just settle in to who you are and what you contribute to the whole? i guess i've been feeling that way recently, trying to get clear on my intentions, how i am living my golden year, and how i can navigate the next season of life, now that the two major things i'd been hoping for have come to fruition: new career path + new living space.
so this is the good news: i'm on a great path.
this is the quest: what will my direction be? what will i do along the way?
if i'm quiet around here, it's because i'm getting clear on that answer.
thanks for your many inspiring thoughts & traveling together with me.
wishing you the perfect blend of inspiration & solitude.