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12 December 2010

reverb 10: a little catchup session

wowza, i thought i was only a day or two behind. turns out i'm four. oh well. keep on, keepin on! i took the entirety of my day to think about yesterday's prompt: #11. and looking back at the ones i've missed, i'm comfortable moving straight on to #11. not that i don't like to think about cultivating community, celebrations, and the wisest decision of 2010, but because these aspects have been fully integrated into my work and life this year. new job, new blog friends, seeing some of my close friends be married; 2010 has been a loving, wise whirlwind, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

walk the golden way. it's hard to find, but there is a golden thread to walk on.

moving right along, i'll start with this prompt, a la yesterday:


December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)


PW can confirm: I am the queen of making lines in the sand. It must be tough to live with me, because one day i'm a vegetarian not drinking coffee or eating sweets, and the next day i'm training for a marathon and losing 15 pounds, and the next day i'm craving a hamburger and SERIOUSLY, please bring home some grass-fed beef!


So this elimination list, oh yeah, shame wanted to have a HEYDAY with this one. I had to think about it all day long, and read everybody elses lists, and cozy up with my own judgement and shame for a bit. Then, covered in the weight of comparison, discontent, and totally disarmed (no courage, capacity to make a meaningful decision, a bit sad), i finally crashed. like whatever. what a lame prompt. la la la la la...and not in a christmas carol kind of way. 


Finally, i got a hold of myself, conjured up the courage to shut down the lap top and go on a run. I got all my gear on, stepped outside, and it started to rain. I said, "WTH, I'm going anyway." Grabbed Paul's raincoat, and hit the pavement. I never felt so much resolve. Such satisfaction. 


Knowing your own breath and listening to your own heartbeat is a healing, spiritual act. 


I encourage each one of us to explore that connection (which interestingly enough leads us to prompt day 12---those reverb folks are SMART!).


So I came back to the house with a clarity that surpassed all the judgement, shame and discontent. I wasn't going to settle for a list of what I shouldn't have, I was going to generate 11 things that were truly getting in the way of me finding the fine golden thread each day.  That's a long story, but its a true one. And I really felt like sharing.


11 Things to Eliminate in 2011:

  1. The Snooze Button: You know the drill. Roll over: Snooze. Snooze. Snooze. "SHIT! It's 8:30!" No more. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I am determined.
  2. Stomach Aches: When I'm eating properly, I don't have knots in my abdomen. I know what causes it, and I know exactly how to keep it from occurring.
  3. Clutter: Piles of what I did yesterday around the house just give me another thing to trip on. 
  4. Shortcuts: I am the queen of cutting corners. Dropping things. Taking too much on at one time and needing to modify. Will take the long way, the real way.
  5. Shoulder pain: I haven't shared this on the blog, but I've been dealing with persistent shoulder pain since earlier this year. Ergonomics at my workstation? Worsening posture? I'm really not sure, but I'm ready to get healing.
  6. Negative Self-Talk: Little by little. Let the negativity be replaced with affirmations.
  7. Ill-fitting clothes: A great looking work wardrobe is expensive, but worth every penny. That goes for fun clothes, too.
  8. Seconds: This idea was borne out of Michael Pollan's S policy: "No snacks, no seconds, no sweets — except on days that begin with the letter S.”  Sometimes I eat too fast and its a weird reflection of this "never enough" belief---(see #9)----so eliminating seconds will hopefully help me appreciate the abundance of round one.
  9. Lack: I was telling PW that I want to practice a belief in Abundance in 2011. I don't know what that means, but this is a preliminary thing to eliminate...I can get a feeling of lack pretty easily "nothing in this fancy NY boutique will fit me."  "They never have size 11 shoes." "Waaa waaa waaaa" Plays into #7 & #8, no?
  10. Noise: Lately I've noticed I have struggled with silence. I want to call my mom or turn up the radio the second I get in the car for my drive home. I think this is a pretty stark reflection of what a busy bee I've been---and that's OK---but I want to get rid of some of the noise in my life. The constant internet access, the lack of journaling, the dine & dash meals, the fully-charged ipod on every run.  Silence can be so healing, and necessary in this noisy world we live in. I really want to appreciate it anew in 2011. 
  11. Sentences that start with "When I..."  ...sign up for another race, ...get enough money, ...find the exact time, etc. etc. etc. If 2010 has taught me anything, it is that RIGHT NOW, in this VERY PRECIOUS moment, you can be, do, have, and appreciate every thing you've ever dreamed of. Live your dream. and start this very minute.

If you've read this far, you're brave, and I am appreciative. Thanks for holding this space with me, without judgement or comparison. Its time for some fresh air and a loud heartbeat. 
Sending love, xoxo
stephanie

5 comments:

Stephanie (dancingwaves) said...

Thank you for the honest post. I can relate to so many of these. Good luck in the now to begin your journey!

From one Stephanie to another,
Stephanie
@dancingwaves

Mary said...

What an inspiring post. Thanks for sharing. I know that I can certainly relate to a lot of the things you listed.

I'll tell you, again, that I'm so glad I found your blog.

Sending that love right back at ya.

Breezy said...

An excellent 11 :)

Jumbleberry Orchard said...

I love this, so inspirational! I'm going to have a think of my own 11 things; it's definitely time to make some changes!

Good luck with it all, and thanks for always being so open on your blog :-)

CTR said...

Love this post! It speaks to all of my weaknesses that I never want to admit to. And Im inspired to make my own 2011, 11 things list. T