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29 May 2010

make claim to what you love

i'm back. and in case you'd forgotten me, i have curly hair and i'm on a quest to live out my golden year. you probably hadn't forgotten, but i had. 




i know i've been busy when i'm hitting snooze, chugging coffee, skipping workouts and trying to throw together lightening fast meals in our oh-so-tiny kitchen.  i know these are the habits of crazed stephanie, rathen than golden, flowing stephanie.  when my bag of sparkly pens gets shoved in some unknown place & i am like a child on christmas morning when i find them again, i realize: "oh yeah, i haven't been journaling."  


its these little things that really light my fire.  my new boss, who i truly adore, has a saying : "protect your inner flame." and i am here to shout that from the rooftops. you must protect your inner flame! it is up to you. 


while i can make excuses all day long, i must first make claim to what i love.  make claim to all the goodness and the opportunities for growth.  make claim to the sparkling instruments that help me process all the hours of my day & to the nourishing foods that energize me.  make claim to the bus rides that reveal the humanity of it all, the huge hugs after exhausting hours our in the world. make claim to the intense workouts that ignite me, and to the soft, comfort of my own home.  these are the things that matter most. these tiny moments of bliss throughout our lives. make claim to those. 

08 May 2010

the constant, calming reminder

this is your life. a canvas blank with possibility.
a board, waiting for your inspiration.
and so, so much more.

this is your one, delightful opportunity 
to sing a song
lift up your eyes to the horizon
and 
raise your brush.

given a wondrous palette,
you will create the concrete vision
of what matters most.

and 
hang it,
before your eyes,
to stand as the constant, calming reminder
that deep down,
in the eyes of your heart,
you are pursuing that vision.
creating that dream. 

hold nothing back.
pour out all that you have.
out of your unique beauty,
construct a masterpiece.

02 May 2010

my quest

do you ever get caught up in all the online goodness everyone else is creating? your catch yourself two hours deep into your "research" for something inspirational, only to find you've come up with nothing except a big heap of jealousy, a lousy feeling about yourself, and more items to add to your already-too-long to-do list?


sometimes i feel that way. that's when i know i need to unplug.  when i need to detach myself from the noise of the world and get quiet, really quiet, so that i can get clear on my own contributions. typically i'd meander to my local yoga studio or sit down with a piping hot mug of tea & my art journal, but these days i've been fully emerged in projects around the apartment and planning for the spring/summer events. so rest means nothing. rejuvenation-what is that again? exhaustively catching up on other people's blog & envying their springtime motivation, we're getting warmer...


what does all this mean? it means i caught myself red-handed. out of boredom & exhaustion, i'm facebook stalking people i don't even really know but they got married & i'll look at their albums. it means i'm reading food blogs that put me in lame-shame, an "i should go run a half marathon and then have a green monster" frame of mine.  it means your accomplishments suddenly seem better than mine, even though i've worked hard to build a fantastic life that i love and that works for me. it means i am looking outside rather than inside, focusing on what i don't have rather than what i have, and most importantly, i am seeing a need to reconcile these inconsistencies & recover some of my golden ways.



do you ever get to this stopping point? this, "i'm in too deep and i have to come up for fresh air" feeling? where you need to throw everything to the wayside and just settle in to who you are and what you contribute to the whole? i guess i've been feeling that way recently, trying to get clear on my intentions, how i am living my golden year, and how i can navigate the next season of life, now that the two major things i'd been hoping for have come to fruition: new career path + new living space. 

so this is the good news: i'm on a great path.
this is the quest: what will my direction be? what will i do along the way? 

if i'm quiet around here, it's because i'm getting clear on that answer.
thanks for your many inspiring thoughts & traveling together with me.
wishing you the perfect blend of inspiration & solitude.