17 February 2011

the unveiling

sometimes life is really tough. take today. really tough but really good. and i mean really good. because the tough got turned to love. in this very moment, i am so thankful for the brave chords that get struck when life gets really tough, and i'm so thankful for brave souls whose lives tell the tale of the tender space of vulnerability. 

women who come immediately to mind: my mother(s), my sister, bréne brown, kelly rae roberts, my grandmothers (4), kaileen elise, analiese marie, victoria wall harris, ashley chaplain. these women mentor me into courage, fullness, life.

heart piercing cards original. sold.
in the tender space of their vulnerability, i have gotten to see their wisdom. i get to learn about being wholehearted. "brave in sadness, brave in love." willing to step up to the plate with all my fierceness, but with gratitude, humility, anxiety, curse words, patience, peace and most of all: love.

i get to learn the lessons of life. the oh-so-important, "how did i ever live without knowing this?!" these lessons feel life changing. i can't exactly describe it, but its like going on a jog or driving in the car and hearing a song that you feel like was written, recorded, and played for you right in this very moment. as though it was all meant to be and by god, you're actually hearing the words and processing them and they are touching the place within, so deep down and yet so present in every waking moment. that i'm running on the clouds and open up to all the possibility.

have you had moments like that? heart-widening, wing-strengthening, soul-gripping moments that feel like this is whats its all about. 

other moments in life that have made me feel this way: seeing my nieces for the first time. falling in love. watching my younger brothers become men. that letter from wendell berry. drives home from the therapist's office. long walks with my college roommates, times when we found ourselves among one another's support and deep love. family interventions. flying home from spain. mid-way through the austin half marathon. after the fourth of july art fair. when i achieved my goal weight. riding my bike through the park on the perfect day. listening to chinese translation on the bus ride home that one day. mondo beyondo

i'm trying not too look back, rather, i'm trying to feel back. feel deep into that space that feels so alive.

and the spark? honesty. leaning into my fears with a dedication to faith, goodness, and vulnerability. oh my goodness, the unveiling that occurs when you dare to seek, wholeheartedly, the ghosts, demons, and more. these are unexplored opportunities for your growth, your faith, your fullness. 

i'm overwhelmed with the fullness i feel. the gratitude that is bubbling at the surface of my being, much like the fine effervescence in a glass of champagne on the most special evening. 

thank you, thank you, thank you for being you: the brave soul. the courageous, willing one who hurdles even the highest obstacles with such faith. my soul is singing.



Analiese said...

I am flattered, humbled, and joyful to be included in the company of such incredible women! I can *sense* your heart opening up...the vulnerability and joy is bursting forth from the page. Sending much love. xoxo

marybethboswell said...

Stephanie, you are full of life and wisdom and really, at such a young age, if you don't mind my saying so. (I hope you take that as a real compliment.) Maybe some of the tough part is also just letting go of resistance -- I am learning that is true for me. I loved your Wendell Berry dream and the fact that you acted on it, and he responded, is pretty special. By the way, sometime I'll show you a pic of how I'm presenting a couple of your pieces of artwork that I bought, in my house. Sincerely, Beth!