23 March 2012

daring greatly: brené brown

"vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change." 

if you haven't heard brené's most recent TED talk
you're simply feeling like an extra dose of courage might do you good,
i'd hop over and check it out.

her way and words bring tears to my eyes. 

"shame drives two big tapes:
"never good enough"
(if you can talk it out of that one)
"who do you think you are?"
{brené brown}

my whole life halts as she speaks into the constant inner battle. wading deep into shame and vulnerability is not easy work. and when you're going through it, i cannot stress enough how important it is that you not go in alone. recently, i've been doing a bit of exploration myself.

i started seeing a therapist a while back as a way to "get out of my own head." i really like her, and offered to fire her early so that we could be friends and i could be "messy" in front of someone else (perhaps another therapist with whom i didn't connect on the same level). i lie not. this thought actually sounded convincing and i actually told my therapist this. it made perfect sense to me that it would be easier to retreat than to keep going within alongside someone who i thought deserved better (further verifying why i need to be working with her!, ha). upon revealing this thought, my therapist said in such an affirming way that she understood this way of thinking, and how it further reflected my craving for meaningful connection. however, she felt confident that the established trust & connection would serve us, both now and as a rich resource further down the road. 

i appreciated that insight more than words can describe. to know someone is willing to go deep into vulnerability and daringly brave what reveals itself is a feeling so freeing. will i be clinging to the fence when we get there? probably. but i trust we'll find our way, bravely, while holding onto the good of what's working in the process. so important for me. so so important.

this leads me back to something that's perhaps what i love most about brené: 
despite years of research regarding what makes the wholehearted who they are  (that's me & you, btw. and brené, too!), she doesn't claim to have it figured out. it's a constant process of discovering and recovering and uncovering and shedding light. 

so take heart. wherever you are, we can start today to take hands and go in together.

on another note, recently i won a giveaway on her blog. when i found out, i had a crazy "OMG i think i'm famous now moment," when really i was just sitting in my cubicle at work doing double fist-pumps and smiling ear to ear. but WOW! i received the gift this past weekend, a book titled: "Marriage Rules" by Harriet Lerner--an author whose works shaped Brené's life. Really excited about dog-earring the heck out of this book--and the opportunity to thank a woman who inspires me so deeply with a little love letter.

here are a few photos of the thank you card & piece of mixed media art i created to send her.
card+art=postal love!

"a light shines brightly in each one of us."

killer envelope, no?!

so true what she says: when i get out of my own way and quiet the voices of expectation (doing it "right,") life gives way to the creative flow that inspires. finding ways to affirm and empathize with one another in our everyday is brave work. and i'm ever so grateful for daring souls like brené who pave the path.

you'll never know what a true, wholehearted impact you've had in my life, brené.
but i am grateful beyond grateful.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this Stephanie! It was just what I needed to read at this time. You inspire me! Susan Griffin Ward

erin said...

haha, that is so You to want to fire your therapist and be friends.

Anonymous said...

You have an excellent therapist ;) xoxox ewat

Elisse said...

What a timely post for me to read! Brene's name has crossed my path oddly enough lately, and as I'm opening myself to better define my social work practice, it's clear that you were meant to guide me to her work.

Thank you for the gift of this post, and spreading the Brene love!