16 May 2012

life cycle

my favorite photos of me are the ones paul takes. this is probably no mistake: he demonstrates such an unconditional way of loving me that even i'm uncomfortable receiving that much love. we see ourselves so much differently than we really are. our flaws aren't that bad, after all, they make us who we are and give us a fair evaluation of the opportunities for growth.

we were watching 'weight of the nation' last night, the first of four videos HBO produced in collaboration with the NIH and CDC regarding the epidemic of obesity in the US. after watching the first episode, i think the series has powerfully and poignantly captured a severe problem that we face as a community-a part of the whole that we contribute to everyday.

something struck me in the episode last night, when a very obese woman says from time to time, she asks her (rather moderately sized) husband to tell her truly if she's gotten too big. she says when he doesn't answer she knows what that means.

i suppose that in many ways, we all look externally for validation, honest evaluation, and the constructive criticism that we cannot face alone. but something struck me as significant about that method of 'seeing;' if we never see ourselves clearly, we may never exhibit the bravery to face both our flaws and our magnificence.

much like my ability to banter on about problems but not pour equally as much time into solutions. or my ability to plug away for hours at end on the computer but not balance the scales with movement activity and 'me time.' how we exhaust our spiritual resources to the short-lived praise of this world. how we tell stories to ourselves about ourselves when ourselves don't approve and don't want to believe that could possibly be true.

if i've learned one thing in my very short twenty seven years it's that we reap what we sow; and in light of that, this is the life cycle:

plant good seeds. tend to them faithfully.
 don't let any storm or draught or famine scare you away from the beauty that grows. 
enjoy the harvest. share the bounty.  

while you're at it, don't forget that we're all in this together. love always wins. 

have i left anything out? i'm all ears (adorned with grandma's oversized golden hoops).

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